Reality Check

Yesterday was a day that even my best descriptions may not do it justice. To start it off, I slept through my alarm a couple of times. That in itself was frustrating because I had to rush to get ready for the day so that I could get Myles and Mariah to where they needed to be. Then, because I was rushing I started out my work day very nervous and feeling unprepared. I was working my first few big dealerships on my own while Myles was in training for his internship. I felt like I didn't know what I was doing but Myles insisted that it would be okay and that I would get everything done that I needed to. I put some faith in myself and him, and set out to do my work. The first dealership was cake since there were no cars there to inventory. Then came the bigger two, one of which I had never been trained on so I was going in blind. The one I had been trained on however, turned out to be far my difficult than usual. Things went wrong all over. I didn't have any pockets, I kept dropping my phone, not to mention everything else I kept dropping, I had the wrong list to know what to inventory, I couldn't find all the keys I needed, the car salesmen were being completely unhelpful and I was going to lose it. I got halfway through the second dealership and Myles texted me to say that he was ready to eat lunch together on his break. Now, I was in a terrible mood at this point and very down on myself and I quickly snapped out and let him know that I didn't have time to make anything to bring to him because I was busy. He, as he always does, lovingly told me that he would take care of it. We went out to subway and as I was sitting in the parking lot with him before he had to go back to training. I couldn't hold it together anymore. I lost it. The tears just kept flowing! I didn't even say anything, they were just burning. Myles asked me what was wrong and how he could help and I kind of barfed all of my emotions out on him. Things like, I don't know what I'm doing at work, I don't have any friends here beside the ones I live with, all I do is work and sit, etc. I'm a girl, what can I say? He promised me that we would do more things out so that I could get to know more people. Wallyball was tonight and we're going. Wallyball is volleyball in a racquetball court. Sounded like fun, but I don't play sports well. Crossing fingers and we'll see how things goes...

He did his best to cheer me up and had to go back to training. I went home to cry it out for a bit and went back for him in an hour. He helped me finish the last half of work I needed to do and we went home. He did a bunch of homework so that we would be able to go to walleyball. 

We got a little side tracked on our way out the door because Myles' grandpa needed some printer help. Walleyball is fun! UNLESS however, someone slams your fiance into the concrete wall! Around 30 minutes into our game Myles went up to block and the guy who was playing in the front with him is kind of a moron. He body slammed into Myles and everything kind of was a blur. Well, for Myles it was. I watched him fly across the room and smack the back of his head on the wall, not once, but twice! He blacked out after the first time and was out for around 5 seconds. I knew right away that he had to have a concussion but I didn't know how much that would change my plans for the next few days. We played wallyball for the next hour and Myles just toughed it out.Though, I wanted to take a closer look at him, I never did get the chance until we were leaving. His pupils were not the same size and he had a pretty good sized lump on his head. 

On the way home we called his brother who is an assistant at a doctors office to come do a test on him. By the Rich got there Myles had showered and was getting pretty loopy. Rich checked him out and stepped outside to talk to his mom about the options. I made Myles eat a banana and he had a really hard time with that. He took a while to unpeel it and then he kept dropping little pieces on the couch and laughing hysterically about it. Then his mood would change drastically and he would be upset that he dropped the banana. Rich and I decided it would be best to make sure there was nothing awful going on in his head and went out the door to the ER. Rich and his Fiance Lindsay followed us to the Hospital but trusted me to drive. Myles, by this point, was not really in this world. I wasn't positive where I was going and I said a silent prayer that everything would be okay, and that I would get to the hospital without getting lost. On my way, following the inspiration that I felt and very few of the directions Myles was giving me, we passed a Hooters. He mumbled something about that and went silent, trying not to sleep. Maybe a minute later he lost it! He was laughing so hard! It worried me a little but I cheerfully asked him, "What is so funny over there?" Again, the fit of laughter! He got enough control to tell me what he was laughing about. "Eh heh... heh... I farted." Then, once again, the effort to not sleep. We needed him to be awake so I started making flatulent noises with my mouth. He thought that was a kick!

We arrived at the hospital and he very slowly moved out of the car. I saw that he looked very unsteady. I put my arm under him before he got to the first curb and that was inspiration because he wobbled the entire way in. I was literally holding him up and pushing him into the hospital. We got all of his paperwork filled out and set down to wait. I got his seminary class covered for the next morning. His mom showed up and they took him back to triage to finish getting him checked in. By this point it was maybe 8:40 pm and he was in a wheelchair. They allowed me to go back with them and everyone else left. We waited some more and then a doctor came to look at him.

Waiting to be placed into a room for the night.

He asked Myles all sorts of questions about himself. All of which Myles took a really long time to answer. (I could tell his brain hurt and I felt really bad for him) He did ask him several times if he smoked or drank. I don't think the doc believed him! Around 10pm we got moved into our own room in the ER. Myles continued to be really out of it and before we got to our own room the doctor had ordered up head and c-spine CT scans. By 10:30 or so he had been taken for his scans. The nurse tech guy that came in to get him told me to stay in our room. That "Mom could handle it." Holy cow! It's a good thing he didn't give me a very big chance to argue with him because it would have been a tearful one. He was making me wait on my own for who knows how long, while my eternal companion was in pain without me. I was heart broken. When Myles came back, they told me that the tech thought I was his sister. It makes me wonder a couple of things. One, I don't know why everyone thinks we look alike. And two, if he had known who i was, would he have let me go with them? Anyway, all that doesn't matter. By 11:30 they had decided they were going to keep him for the night. He could answer questions fast now, his scans all looked fine, but he still couldn't walk. Now we wait... AGAIN!! We waited forever. Ann (Myles' mom) left at 12:45 to go home and sleep since she had to be up and back to the hospital for work a few hours later. We kept on the nurses about when they were finally going to get him into a room. They put him in the IMC (one step down from the ICU) because it was a head trauma. They kept telling us it was going to be 20 minutes, but that never happened. FINALLY, at 2 am we started making our way to a room. They made me split from him again, this time, so that they could get him attached to heart monitors and his IV and such. They came and got me and finished up asking him questions. By 3 they left us for the first hour. We said a prayer of gratitude that we were watched over and finally in a room. We did our best to sleep, or I did. I learned through this that I'm nervous in the ER when I know someone I love is in pain. The nurse came in once every hour to wake Myles up and ask him questions to make sure he still had his memory. Most every time he did really well, he could answer them quickly and they were right!

His pretty bracelet. Proof of our never ending day. 

Around 4 or 5 in the morning I thought that my heart had stopped and my world had shattered. The nurse came in and asked him his name. Then he said, "Do you know your fiance's name?" Myles just scrunched up his face and for what seemed like an eternity he couldn't answer him. In reality about a minute went by, but my eternity stopped for a very long moment. I said a prayer in my heart while I waited, "Heavenly father, please let this be because he is asleep! Please let him come out of this. I need my best friend back!" Finally Myles said, "McKay" and the nurse let him go back to sleep. 

Here comes my major reality check. Earlier in the day my worries were that I didn't have any friends, and that I hated my job. But here I was, watching my very best friend (and co-worker) on this planet struggle to say my name. Strain to hold my hand, and give absolutely no reaction every time I kissed him when they took me away from him. Here was my best friend, laying in a hospital bed hooked up to tons on machines because we decided to go play wallyball and get me some friends. I thought because it was inspiration from God to move here, that everything would be hunky dory. I thought it would be easy. I think God knew I needed a major attitude adjustment and he provided me a way to find it. He has blessed me in more ways than I can even number and I cannot forget to express my thankfulness to him!

Myles is home now and has made a lot of improvement. He has trouble walking still, but the doctor says that will come back with time. For now, we get to babysit him all the time and he hates it. We'll be waking him up for the next few nights, but for the most part, everything will go back to normal. Except that he will not be playing sports or doing anything to jog his brain for the next 5 or 6 weeks.

Thank you, God for giving Myles a bossy mom, to help at the hospital! Thank you, God for supportive parents who stay up way later than they usually do, just to make sure that things are okay; who fast for us today because they knew I would need it; the ones who taught me to rely on the power of a priesthood blessing; the ones who ask not only how Myles is doing, but how I am doing with all of this. Thank you, God for providing a plan that includes eternal families. I'm glad I have mine. :)